


Be the good guys

by Tina_1112



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst, Cannon au, Clarke and Murphy are spirit animals, Cockroaches must stick together, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Jordan is my sun, Loneliness, Sad Clarke, Suicidal Thoughts, except Murphy, season 6 AU, spacekru is rude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 10:51:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15817407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tina_1112/pseuds/Tina_1112
Summary: They reached the new ground. Was it worth the loss they had to pay? All the mess they had when they went to sleep was still fresh. Broken trust, broken bond, siblings, friends, families. On top of that new planet without any information on how to live there.Bellamy and Clarke must overcome (more likely scream it out) their differences once again in order to survive. Lucky for them, they have a little help on their side. An unexpected one.





	Be the good guys

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, s5 wasn't what I expected. Except for the finale, it let me down. So, here I am, trying to have my own hopes and dreams for s6. Bear with me, friends. A lot of angst and pain. Some fluff along the way. Also please, JRoth, I want at least 1 scene of Murphy and Clarke!  
> Hope you enjoy the first chapter. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always a big support <3

_Bellamy_

 

Two days since they were once again dropped on a planet. Two days since Bellamy found out two members of his family are dead, met their son and held Clarke while watching their new home, all in one day. When their small bubble was over Jordan prepared Eligius‘s dropship. The two of them came up with a list of people to wake up first. Madi, Raven, Shaw, Murphy, Emori, Echo. Clarke insisted on Diyoza, because the cunning ex-enemy had to know more about Eligius III. They didn‘t know anything about this planet. It looked like Earth, but if you looked closely you could see the small differences. The most important questions were what was edible, what wasn‘t, were there people, aliens, animals, monsters? They made a plan, the eight of them would be fine for a few weeks with the rest of the rations, that‘s why they didn‘t wake up Dioyza, with her pregnancy she would need a lot more. 

 

Shaw told them he was sure Eligius 3 landed there, that or they were still on orbit, which they would see. Whether or not they were alive, they needed their knowledge to survive. Another problem was that whole Eligius 3 were nightbloods too, or at least they thought so. So, of course, Clarke volunteered to go there alone. Luckily before Bellamy could find his rusty protective streak that was still running through his veins Shaw informed them they could scan the radiation levels with Eligius equipment.

 

So, here they were. Building a small camp, coming up with plans for every possible situation. Their only goal was to be better, do better. He shared a tent with Echo, Raven with Shaw, Clarke with Madi, Murphy with Emori, who finally got back together again. _Clarke_ , he didn‘t see much of her these days, except when they were planning. Normally he would have thought she was with Madi but Madi was always around, without her.

 

He saw her only with three people, Madi, Jordan and surprisingly Murphy. Right now she was with Jordan. It was surprising that Clarke asked Jordan if he wanted to stay with them. In the end, Jordan had his own tent close to Clarke‘s. Bellamy knew there was a gap between Spacekru and Clarke. Raven, who mourned her the most after him, was barely talking to her now. Echo acted like she didn‘t exist.

 

He looked at Jordan, his warm smile he threw at Clarke, so much as Harper‘s, his kind eyes reminding him of Monty and if he looked closer he could see the mischief spark in him, the same Jasper had. It was still unbelievable, so confusing but here he was, a legacy of three people Bellamy considered a family.

 

What was more, Clarke smiled, even laughed along with him? For three weeks they were on the ground before destroying it once and for all, she never smiled. Did she smile before Praimfaya? What was the last time he saw her smile? He didn‘t remember, but she did now and it made him feel lighter.

* * *

_Clarke_

 

Clarke felt alone, nothing new. She knew Bellamy forgave her but nothing was the same. Raven was still pissed at her. Echo was Echo. Emori was polite and trying but Clarke knew she had to stand „on their side“. Madi was so happy, going around and talking to everyone she knew from her stories. Clarke had Jordan now, even though he was even older than her, he was her family now too and she adored him. The perfect mix, a strong ground of Monty and Harper, but also streak here and there of Jasper. Sometimes, it was hard to be around him because of it, sometimes it made her feel less empty.

Even now as she looked at him, she was captured in a loop of memories

„Clarke?“ Jordan said aloud with a concerned face. Clarke snapped out of it and nodded.

„Can I ask you something?“ He asked shyly, looking at the ground, Clarke smile grew.

„Of course“ She simply replied, gently squeezing his shoulder, encouraging him.

„How was my dad? Before all of this, when the 100 landed? I always heard stories about all of you but not them.“ He replied with a sad smile. This was also something thrilling but painful, he asked them about stories, about people. He was curious and she couldn‘t blame him nor not telling him.

Clarke bit her lip, remembering two scrawny kids, busted for weed, doing first Earth moonshine, getting high on nuts. She threw a sad smile at Jordan, took a deep breath and began.

„Your dad was always the light, he was my first friend on the ground, alongside with Jasper, Octavia, and Finn. He was rebellious too, with his Earth alcohol and getting high on jobi nuts or weed. He made everyone laugh, even in the dark times, with Jasper and their little pranks.“ She started lightly, what kid didn‘t want to hear about their parents teen years. She was right and Jordan laughed, a sly smile resting on his face. It was worth opening her already damaged heart.

„He saved so many people even before. He saved me with Raven in The City of Light. He saved sky people by being held captive and warning about planned murder on Azgeda‘s king. He sacrificed his own mom to keep us alive. Almost his hands to keep spacekru alive.“ Clarke couldn‘t hold the tears, nor Jordan did. „Your dad“ she paused, shaking tears off „Your dad was a hero, Jordan, true hero.“ Jordan‘s brown eyes were filled with water, the fire reflected his cheeks stained with tears.

Jordan nodded and turned his gaze on her. Then surprisingly, he hugged her and thanked her right in her ear. She hugged him as much as she could, whispering that his parents were her family and he was too.

„Now, let‘s set our rations for today, okay?“ She pulled back and sent him a small smile. Her voice still trembling a little.

They ate together, he stayed with her even if he could join others. It filled Clarke‘s heart. His parents trusted her and Bellamy to look after him and that they would. Clarke hugged him once more before telling him to join the others, she needed little time to compose herself, to walk it out in those wonderful woods.

 

 

It was beautiful, green trees, grass and even sweeter air than on Earth. Her fingers were on fire with the thought of sketching this second chance. It looked so much as their home, and it looked so different. There were trees that looked so ridiculous, flowers in the weirdest shapes and colors with so strong smell. It overwhelmed her, just as two suns instead of one. She sat on a rock and just breathed in and out. Calming herself, telling herself this is real. Maybe she didn‘t find Valley, maybe no one got on Earth, maybe she was still out of it in the desert and she would wake up to nothing again. Panic rip her apart, she gripped a nearby tree until her knuckles were white.

„Thinking of how to destroy this one?“ A voice said behind her with a sarcastic laugh. Murphy. She turned around, seeing him smirking. 

„Yeah, but at least the two of us will survive, won‘t we, cockroach?“ She replied in the same tone, her eyes sparkling. He slowly went to her and sat beside her. She sighed and looked at him, trying to guess if he forgave her sins or not. He had to sense her internal struggle because he bumped her shoulders and sent her his easy smile.

„Don‘t worry, Griffin. Cockroaches should stick together“ She glanced at his face, filled with honesty. This ~~boy~~ _man_ went a long way from the shark boy he was. 

„You know, I never thanked you for what you did,“ He said after a while. Clarke looked at him skeptically. Firstly, she didn‘t want it, she didn‘t even deserve it and secondly, Murphy thanking for something? ~~6~~ 131 years do a lot. The blonde raised her eyebrows at him mockingly.

„I know, I know, the John Murphy thanking Clarke Griffin.“ He laughed. Slapping her arm playfully. 

„Really though,“ He said in a serious voice, making Clarke snap her eyes to his. „ I didn‘t forget what you did for us, for me and the others didn‘t too, they just need more time. I know what you did and I don‘t care okay? It doesn‘t outweigh what you had to do for us all the time.“ When did Murphy begin being so good at reading her? Her tears were streaming down her cheeks and even then Murphy didn‘t go away.

„So hear me out, because this will happen just once. Thank you for saving our asses, for sacrificing yourself to us, thank you for saving Emori from the chamber, for giving her your helmet, for believing in me even if I screwed up times and times over.“ Clarke couldn‘t believe what was happening but she felt a sudden urge to hug him. In the end, he hugged her. They started laughing, just sitting in the quiet forest.

„So what are you doing in this Alice in Wonderland forest?“ He asked her and earned a watery laugh from the blond next to him. That seemed to please him. She looked at him, her blue eyes filled with wonder

„You know Alice in Wonderland?“ She teased him.

This could be easy, friendship with him, she thought. They were from the same dough. Dark, envy cockroaches. They should have died a long time ago, but here they were. Here he was, giving her something she desperately needed. Support, sympathy.

„Hey! There was a lot of time and a lot of your privileged ass movies!“ He argued and it made Clarke laugh even more. She held her hand in surrender. He smacked it away with his own.

„ I guess I needed time to think. I was used to being alone and this was a hell of a ride“ Her gaze fell on the ground once again, not meeting his eyes. She shrugged and gestured with her hand around.

„ You know you can talk to us right? They might be pissed by they still love you.“ Clarke shook her head, no they didn‘t, how could they? Even if they could, she wasn‘t their family, not anymore. 

Honestly, she doesn‘t even know where she stands with them. All of them had forgiven Echo for what she had done. They had time to do so. As she said, every side they fought had reasons too. She just didn‘t expect they would melt together in such a close way. Maybe Monty and Harper didn‘t hate her since they woke her up first and trust her to look after their boy. The rest well, they didn‘t seem to, especially Raven and Echo.

„You are all a family, tight group where I don‘t fit anymore, and I have Madi,“ It was Murphy‘s time to shook his head, he knew some of it was true but hell, she had them, she had Bellamy and if not, he would be there for her, like he said, they should stick together. 

„and now you have me and Jordan“ Her shiny eyes looked at him with doubt.

„What did they do to you, Murphy?“ She smirked, teasing him a bit. It was surprising but she could feel the honesty in his voice and be glad for him.  
  
„Well, maybe this is who I am now, or maybe I need the cockroach of cockroaches by my side in this dangerous planet“ He stood up and took her wrist, pulling her up too.  
  
„You want to build a society? Let‘s build a society, princess“ Clarke smacked his shoulder and laughed brightly, remembering those words when they were in Dropship camp. That young boy full of pain seeking revenge has grown up well.  
  
So it went, they ate and planned for the next three days, Murphy often sat with her and chat and made her laugh like no one in a long time. Sometimes they went to the spot where he found her. In those times they talked more deeply, he was the first one she told about her time down there, how hard it really was, how she almost killed herself. He told her about his attempt of suicide, of his feeling of useless back on the ring, of his pushing away. They needed this, each other, she realized. She always thought she needed just Madi and Bellamy, but this was different. Murphy felt it too and wondered, why it took them so long, he had friends, family, even if it scared him and he buried it down, but with Clarke he could really, for the first time, admit that she was his close friend.

_* Two days ago_

_„Okay Clarke, enough of crap“ Murphy startled her, looking straight into her eyes. They were at their spot again, they weren‘t there since he found her and Clarke took it as a success, as they both got out the suppressed burden off and could live, apparently Murphy didn‘t think so on her behalf since he dragged her back now._  
  
_„What are you talking about?“ She tried to reason with him. He just sent her a glare before his mouth turned up._  
  
_„Clarke, I know something is bothering you!“ He whisper-yelled._  
  
_Could even Murphy see through her that much? She tried, telling him some of her feelings, thinking it would help. It did, it indeed did, but it wasn‘t enough because the nagging feeling was still there. The feeling that she was useless now, Madi didn‘t need her to survive anymore, she wasn‘t the only person in the world now, literally._  
  
_She bit her lip, trying to decide if she should continue with her facade or finally tell him. When she looked at him she knew it would be the latter. Seeing Murphy looking at her with concern? A rare sight to her eyes, maybe her first._  
  
_„I don‘t know anymore Murphy, I have this battle inside me. One is telling me to keep going, to honor Monty and Harper, try to be the good guy in this world. The other one is...“ She took a deep breath, clearing her head „The other one is the same I had after Praimfaya, it loosened after finding Madi but...“ She gestured with her hand in nowhere. Murphy, picking up what she meant, just nodded._  
  
_„I found your sketchbook, I saw the picture of us taking off,“ He said after a painful, quiet time. He was looking straight at her. Clarke tensed for a second until exhaling a defeated breath. She might as well do it, tell him. They talked a lot these days, a lot of deep shit unloading._  
  
_„I don‘t know which one will win the battle. All I know is that I have the same feeling I had before I put a gun to my head. The voice that was telling me to set myself free.“ Murphy's hand he laid a second before on her shoulder froze. „ I am trying to push it deep down, this is our, my chance to do better. To be the good guy and complete Monty‘s last wish but it‘s so hard.“ Clarke bit her lip so hard she felt the irony blood on her tongue._  
  
_Murphy knelt in front of her, his hands on her shoulders painfully squeezing._  
  
_„I know the feeling, Clarke. Believe me, I do. You can‘t give up, give in, you hear me?! Or I will go with you wherever you go. You dying“ He stopped, his mind raging into the mess that happened a long time ago „was the fucking worst that happened to us. Bellamy was wrecked, keeping it barely together. Raven blamed herself for so many stuff. Even Emori was pissed at us for not giving you enough time. But Bellamy got the worst of it.“_  
  
_She knew, the moment he looked back at her before she was pleading him to come in. His eyes were full of pain hunted look on his face. „I can‘t do that again“ falling from his lips and making a deep cut through her chest._

_*_

 

Raven, always the genius she is, found a way to try plants and not poison themselves. She made a detector of a scrap, something Shaw said to her was in his time of life. It needed a small sample and could tell you what was it from, atom by atom. So they did it and they wrote everything down. They still weren‘t sure where Eligius 3 landed, if they survived if they had a society if there were other creatures but they got food, real food.

Clarke didn‘t want to wake up Wonkru, Madi was finally acting like a child she was, smiling and playing around. No worry in her blue eyes, just wonder. Her wonder didn‘t seem to have an end. She loved this new planet, she loved to watch Raven while she worked. She spends her daytime more with her than Clarke. It hurt, especially since Raven sometimes didn‘t even look at Clarke. Madi sensed it and told her she has a secret surprise for her and Raven is apparently helping her. The blonde watched her now, by Raven‘s side, a wide smile on her lips. She started to run to her, grinning helplessly. Clarke returned her smile, tugging her for side-hug. 

„Clarke! Come on, today is the day, come with me!“ She shouted excitedly, taking her hand and a bowl, leading her through their makeshift camp far away.  
  
Madi stopped in the middle of a forest, or at least something like a forest that they have already cleared and crouched down, her back to Clarke, tilting her head to her with a sly smile. Clarke looked down and saw it, berries. She chuckled and crouched next to her daughter. Madi started picking berries into the bowl. Her finger slowly getting reddish-pink color.  
  
„I assume you had Raven to run a test, right?“ She ruffled her hair softly and helped her full the bowl.  
  
„Yes,“ She grinned at Clarke, popping one berry in her hand, beautiful pink-red, so pigmented color greeted her fingers. „Your streak is gone and my too, I thought it would be good, new change“ Madi explained slowly, „Raven said it‘s totally edible, kinda like Earth berries but better.“ She threw one right into her mouth and swallowed. Clarke did the same and what a joyful taste got her. She was right, it was like Earth berries, but better. It had a sweet, fresh taste, that was surrounding you like a blanket.  
  
When they returned, Murphy and Emori waited for them in front of her tent, sitting on her makeshift table, grinning like idiots in love, again. It warmed her heart to see ~~Murphy~~ _John_ like that. Emori‘s eyes were warm and welcomed her in. She shifted her weight a bit, still surprised to see her there, was it Murphy‘s doing? Emori never was hostile or ignorant to her but she still could see she was distant, until now.

„You told Murphy?“ Clarke asked her little natblida. Her daughter threw her a shit-eating grin and high-fived Murphy.  
  
„I thought you said I lied, that he wasn‘t funny?“ Clarke raised her eyebrow at her, but couldn‘t compose it for long, since her daughter mimicked her, too much of herself she saw.  
  
„He is fun now, he will let me dye his hair.“ She stuck her tong at her. Clarke shook her head, was this really the second chance? John Murphy being her closest friend now, getting on good terms with kids? What a world she lived in.

Instead of going further, trying to understand what changed between them that couldn't be there before. She looked at Emori. That girl looked happy, Clarke was glad for her. Emori never felt like she belonged anywhere. If some good came out of those six years and them creating this little circle, it was this.  
  
„Hi, Emori,“ Clarke looked sheepishly, ducking her head a bit. It had to be a funny sight, the great wanheda, savior of them once, but Emori just smiled at her and stick out a chair for her.

„Hey, Clarke...um… I just wanted to watch John and also… um talk to you again“ She smiled softly the whole times, her eyes sometimes skipping to the floor to Murphy, who send her encouraging squeeze of a hand.

„It‘s okay“ She responded with a smile of her own. She put the bowl down, in front of her and started to mash it.

„How did you know this berries trick?“ Murphy asked, mouth full of berries he stole from her even if she tried smacking his hand away.

„After Mount Weather, when you were searching your fate with Jaha“ Murphy snorted and mumbled something like _yeah, right_.

„I left and I couldn‘t look like me so I bought grounder clothes and dyed all of my hair“ Murphy raised both of his eyebrows again, shaking his head.

She couldn't even look at herself at those times. Little did her younger herself know it would get worse, much worse. 

„Redhead Griffin, not sure I would like it“ He scrubbed his beard wisely. Nodding to himself.

„Well, Niylah did“ Clarke giggled lightly, winking at Murphy.

„Clarke! You have a daughter here!“ He said fake-horrified, trying to cover Madi‘s ears, who just punched his shoulder lightly.

„Ouch, the hobit has quite the strength.“ He remarked teasingly, rubbing his upper arm.  
  
Clarke pushed the bowl to Madi and slyly smiled at her, tilting her chin toward Murphy. Madi squealed and jumped up and down. Murphy shot her non-heated glare and turned to Madi. Emori tapped the chair next to hers and Clarke sighted, not knowing what was ahead of her. She sat and looked at her lap, slowly looking up at the same nervous Emori.  
  
„I um...I wanted to apologize, it wasn‘t fair to act like that“ She shrugged „I just, I didn‘t want to pick a side, not that there are sides but…“ She gestured with her hand in the air. Clarke placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, telling her it‘s fine „ You saved my life, more than I can count and thanks to you I have a family, I belong somewhere and I want you to belong with us“ She said finally, earning an approving look from Murphy.  
  
Clarke nodded, taking it all in. „It‘s okay Emori, I get it and thank you, I appreciate it“ She flashed her the most honest smile she could muster.  
  
Clarke ended with the same streak again. Murphy seemed pleased too, it darkened his hairs and made them softer, with led Emori to touch them as often as she could, definitely a bonus. It was a beautiful day full of people she loved, For now, it was a beginning. She felt warm and happy for the first time they were there.

* * *

 

_Bellamy_

They were on this planet for two weeks now, thanks to Raven they had food and made notes for others. Still, in the air lingered a lot of questions, should they wake them all, should they wake at least a few? Where did Eligius 3 end up? This situation was still unbelievable, his two best friends, two members of a family away. A new planet, two suns. It was surreal, not quite reaching his mind, just 4 weeks ago he found out Clarke was alive, met a new version of his sister, fought and fought in a war and destroyed Earth.  
  
_Clarke_ , Clarke is alive, so why does it still feel like she isn't. He knows she is not He can see her now, in the corner of his eye, laughing like she hadn‘t in a long time, even before praimfaya, Murphy sitting beside her, face red-pink while Madi is massaging his scalp gently. Even Emori is there, her hand in Murphy‘s and another gesturing while talking to Clarke. It warmed his heart, he wasn‘t dumb, he saw spacekru, Echo and Raven were hostile to her. He tried to talk to them but all he ended up with was two pointed glares and a fight with Echo later.  
  
*  
_„You forgave her just like that? She sneered at him, her eyes flashing with anger._  
  
_„I thought you forgave her first, you even stopped her from coming back into madness for her mother“ He replied, raising his brow. Why did it bother her so much?_  
  
_„That was while we tried not to die, I may have put it aside but it still doesn‘t change the facts“ She whisper-screamed at him._  
  
_„What facts? That she left me in Polis? That she sided with McCreary? I am aware, Echo but this is what we do to each other, this is what I did for you too!“ He yelled the last part. Angry at himself, Echo and this stupid conversation. He composed himself. „We did things that shouldn‘t be forgiven, but are, because we did them for our people, our family. I forgave you and now I forgave Clarke.“ He finished the bittersweet speech he had told his sister a long time ago._  
  
_„It took you three years to forgive me and you forgave her almost instantly,“ She said sadly, turning her head to the side._  
  
_The truth was, he hadn‘t any response for that so he just hugged her, let their heat of body consume him. The truth was he would always forgive her. He wasn‘t mad, he was hurt, thinking she didn‘t care about him. That all changed when Madi told him about those radio calls. It all clicked in place, especially the talk they had in dessert._  
*  
  
He and Clarke were a team again, that he was sure. It felt like in the beginning, they were a team, but they weren‘t close. He pushed it aside, there was too much to think about, her betrayal, his betrayal, those stupid radio calls that kept him awake at nights.  
  
Raven was in her own world, not talking too much, everywhere with Zeke on her side. At least Emori looked happy, happier since she was with Murphy again. Bellamy thought it was good for them, they needed each other, balanced each other. The bad thing was that he didn‘t see much of him these few days, he stuck to Emori or Clarke. Who would have thought, right? Maybe cockroaches got to stay together. Since he couldn't be there for her, since it was all fucked up, Murphy would.  
  
Second chance, he chuckled, all those little thoughts brought him back to Clarke, to their time. Just like 2 weeks ago, when Jordan woke the rest up

_*_

_Bellamy stood there, alone, looking up and down the eligius lever to a second chance. The one Clarke pulled when they took off. He felt 23 again, in a dropship, preparing to protect his little sister from whatever was down there. Except now his sister was still asleep in the mothership, didn‘t need protection anymore, didn‘t need anything anymore. Just as he slowly put his hand on the lever, Clarke stormed in, others close behind her. Her blue eyes widened._  
  
_„Wait! The air could be toxic“ She said into the air and then looked away, looking sheepish. It warmed his heart and then it popped into his head. His first meeting the princess. He could say that Monty knew where he sent them, that Jordan scanned the place already, but that felt wrong, he knew what he should say. His signature smirk set in, his eyes full of mischief._  
  
_„If the air is toxic, we are all dead anyway“ His rough voice echoed through the room. He looked back at her, her face softening, being lit by a beautiful wide grin. He pulled the lever_

_*_

That was the first wide smile he got from her in such a long time and probably the last one. Now she looked at him the same way she did before he put the flame in Madi. Soft but distant, calm but sad. When he looked too long, inspecting her facial expression, hoping he could read her like a book again. He knew they had to talk, that was an understatement of the year. It was hard to get her to talk, other than survival stuff. Maybe if he talked to Murphy.  


He took Murphy out for „forest sweep“. They walked through the beautiful forest in silence. In the corner of his eye, he saw Murphy throwing him suspicious glances.  
  
„Nice hair,“ He said into the silence. Fuck, what was he thinking? That he would drag him here, ask him about Clarke?

„Hm“ was all he replied. Then he looked at him and narrowed his eyes.

„What Bellamy? Spit it out already“ Murphy stopped walking, crossing his arms in the process.  
  
God, this was a mistake. What could he say? Hey, how is Clarke doing? He knew what the answer was without even asking. ‚How about you ask her yourself‘ yeah, right. So he threw him a look he prayed said everything.  
  
„What do you want me to say. Clarke is my closest friend now.“ Bellamy knew that. Still, he couldn‘t help himself and send him a disbelieving look.  
  
„Believe me, it surprises me too, but we get each other now. She...“ Murphy swallowed hard “ she doesn‘t deserve the shit spacekru is giving her, never did“ How could it hurt so much, that someone get Clarke better than him. He would never have thought that kind of universe would exist. Never.  
  
"She feels alone, man. She feels like I felt on that damn ring. Who can blame her.“ Murphy shook his head. Did Murphy share his feelings with Clarke? Did she? How come he didn‘t do it with his family he knew for six years, pull away but he shared with Clarke? All kinds of questions were running through his head. Clarke wasn‘t alone, she never will be, as long as he will live. The thought she felt that way made him shiver.  
  
"She knows I forgave her, she will always belong in our family We have a chance to do better here.“ It felt like a lie. His family, hers. All of those problems were just pulling up. There will be a time when it piles up and burns. Maybe, that's what they needed, they couldn't pulling it deep down for long.

"Bullshit and you know that, did you looked around lately? Echo is sending her death glares, hell from what I heard she even tried to kill her." Echo what? He did a double take, looking at his friend with a little of a distrust. Before he could say something Murphy continued.“ Raven is not better, and don‘t get me wrong. I get why they are angry but this is Clarke we are talking about. Have they ever thought about what she has been through? No. I did, I was the only one because I lived a version of it too.“ Murphy's jaw twitched, his eyes filled with rage. He punched the nearest tree, switching emotional hurt for physical one.

Bellamy ran a hand through his hair. It did occur to him how hard it must have been. He saw few signs here and there but there was too much to také care about. The way she excused herself just when he tried to know what she did to survive. When she talked about taking a dozen trips in a sandstorm full of sharp pieces. He saw the wasteland, how Polis was ruined and bunker buried. Oh, fuck. What he would give to hear those messaged, to feel the pain he deserved.  
  
„What should I do?“ He honestly asked him, his teary eyes snapping to his blue. His lip trembling.  
  
„Talk to her?“ Murphy mockingly replied. Bellamy snorted, that was what he was preparing himself all along.  
  
„Look, you need to. I am worried about her. I feel like she is slipping through our fingers and it pisses me off because all would have been okay if you talked if Echo wasn‘t a bitch and Raven got to her senses.“ Murphy moved his hands behind his back, pulling some book from his waistband. He handed it to him with a clap on Bellamy‘s back. He started to go back to camp but then he looked over his shoulder.  
  
„You know, Madi told me that in the stories, we were the heroes, even me. Clarke not even once mentioned herself.“ With that he took off, leaving Bellamy with a book in his shaking hands.  
  
Bellamy opened the leather book on a first page. A man was looking back at him. He had a wide, warm smile. The drawing was precise, so realistic that he knew who it was. Jake Griffin, Clarke‘s dad. After a while, he realized that those were the faces Clarke lost. Wells, Charlotte, Finn, Maya, Lexa, Lincoln...it went on and on until his own face greeted him back. Did Clarke think he was dead? Then, the story started. Firstly, drawing of the dropship, Octavia outside and him and Clarke standing side by side. The last one almost broke his heart again, a miniature of Clarke on a tower and their rocket taking off in the background. His tears dropped down, close to where other, already soaked, dry but still visible were, Clarke‘s tears.  
  
He knew what he had to do, he had to find her, make it right. A deep breath of the sweet air and he went on his path.

 

 


End file.
